Over the past two years, I have been on a journey building my portrait business. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not just dreaming. I still can’t believe that I actually discovered my true passion–photographing women.
I grew up in a “glass half empty” family, and I wore the “I’m not worthy” family crest. I watched my awesome parents start a business, fail at it, pack up their dreams and never think about them again. Clearly good things were not in the cards for us.
I reconfirmed my sad fate when I invested a LOT of money in my own online business that launched the very week that the world economy tanked in 2008.
I was deeply ashamed that I lost all of that money. I hated that my husband and children watched me implode right along with the economy, and that they would probably blame me for their bleak future. I know that’s a ridiculous “poor me” attitude, but when you fail in a spectacular Fireworks-Over-Niagra-Falls kind of way, it’s not just a matter of telling yourself to, “snap out of it”. It took a while to drag myself out of Doomsville.
I was forced to dig deep and look at what was at the root of my rock-bottom self-esteem. With the help of a coach, I worked through some really tough stuff and came out the other end feeling stronger and happier. But it’s really the shift that I made over the past two years that really surprises me. Who knew that I had it in me, at 50, to shift my whole paradigm?
I really have to give a lot of credit to my mentor, Sue Bryce, an incredible photographer/educator with a heart the size of a planet. Today, I was at Sue’s LA studio with several other photographers, and she showed us a statement by Scott Stabile. It resonated for me and perfectly sums up Sue’s philosophy. I can honestly say I actively practise this every day.
If I hadn’t experienced the lows and climbed back up; if I hadn’t been open to risking everything again; and, if I just packed up my dreams, I never would have been able to change. I wouldn’t have discovered my true passion. If I never do anything else in my life, I know my failure is actually a gift to my children. Their family crest is all about overcoming the tough stuff and relentlessly pursuing joy. They’re so completely worthy!!!!